A Delightful Reunion

I believe some people are suppose to be in our lives.  Of course, our family members are in our lives (unless we choose otherwise).  Family can offer many things, not always what we expect, want, or need, but family serves a tremendous purpose in life.  Friendships also serve a great purpose.

I have had many friends come in and out of my life.  I have lost many close family members and relatives.  Although I miss those close relationships I have learned to appreciate the experiences I had and to accept that relationships are not static; life is not static.  I do not usually consider an inactive friendship a failure.  The experiences we shared together had meaning, purpose and impacted my life.

When I turned forty I felt compelled to do some retracing.  I looked up some past friends and acquaintances (mostly on Facebook).  I had an opportunity to meet up with a few of my closest friends from my schooldays (middle and high school).  I was amazed at how awesome these women are (still) and how much some of their best qualities, that I remember from when we were young, were still prominent.

A couple weeks ago I had an opportunity to vacation in Utah where one of my closest friends from middle school was now living.  We met at a local zoo and spent the day getting to know each others spouses and children.  I was so very pleased to see us, and our families, coming together almost seamlessly.  In no time I was feeling a delightful sense of closeness to her and to her family.  It became clear that our friendship had survived over 25 years of inattention.  Once again, some people are suppose to be in our lives!

Being Happy

A friend posted a quote on Facebook from a source that is very dear to my heart:

“In all of living, have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured.” - Gordon B. Hinckley

I believe this to be true.  I want to apply this principle to my life every day.  I ache to be happy.  I have 1,000 reasons to be happy.  I do things that I enjoy, I do things of which I have fun, and I definitely love laughter.  When I was a child I remember getting caught up in laughter, taking me to a state of out-of-control.  With tears running down my face and a sore belly the ride would eventually come to a stop.  Laughter often comes now as a surprise like a sudden jolt of electricity that tickles my soul.  I will sometimes keep a laugh going beyond the reality of the humor in hopes of savoring the feeling just a little longer.  Sometimes that makes me sad. 

I have read a lot of books and have been well educated on how to acknowledge life's difficulties and then move on or use them to better ourselves.  I know that our thoughts can determine how we feel.  I have a strong faith in God and that He wants me to be happy. I know that I am a child of God and that I am eternally loved.  I have great reasons to be joyful, happy, and to enjoy life.  I continue to press forward with faith that I can live life happily rather than just enduring.  That I can truly realize and accept that life really is to be enjoyed, that despite the 1,000 reasons I have to be sad, I can rather be happy.

Preparing My Family For General Conference

I am looking forward to General Conference next weekend.   First I am working towards being spiritually, mentally, and physically prepared myself.  I am also looking forward to getting together all my preparations for my family.  The girls require lots of activities and attention getters so I do my best to plan ahead.  Here are some of my plans:
 
We set up tents in the living room facing the television.  We used sheets and blankets last April:

Last October and this coming weekend I plan to use these:

General Conference Treasure Box

This activity will help to catch their attention when there is a new speaker.  It will also help them to learn to recognize the apostles and their names.  And they get special fun treasures!

Print out the apostles pictures and names and paste 1 on each side of the box (2 per box).  When one of the apostles speaks they find the box with his name and picture and enjoy the treasure inside the box:

I have a little candy, bubbles, stickers, and other things the girls will enjoy.

Print Treasure Chest picture here.  Print apostle pictures here or  here. 

Conference Squares Matching
I love the conference squares.  For my girls I like to make stickers out of them and use it as a matching game:

On the last Sunday session we enjoy pampering each other with hand massages and hair brushing. Check out last April's pampering here.

Coloring and Other Activities
LDS.org has some coloring pages here and some other activities for children here.

One of my favorite resource sites is Sugardoodle.  They have some great ideas for General Conference here. Check out the General Conference notebook at Sugardoodle for older kids.

You can get the April 2012 General Conference packets for Primary age children here and for younger children here.

For More Information About General Conference go here.  Happy General Conference!

Home

Since I was a very young child I remember feeling like I did not really belong here, that I was never really going to feel at home here ~ on earth.  When I was 16 years old my family was introduced to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  For the first time in my life I had tasted the warm and comforting feeling of being home, of truly belonging, not specifically in the church but inside of myself~ my spirit.  I suddenly felt a sense of self-worth that I had never before experienced.   Although this feeling only presents itself in moments of time it was, and still is, a source of motivation for me, to press on, to not give up, to have faith that I will someday feel at home all of the time.

After Much Deliberation . . .

I am seriously not one for those chain e-mails.  You know, the ones that warn that you must send it to a ridiculous number of people so you don't have to be alone in the irriating experience of having to read and then find a ridiculous number of people, you may or may not know, to send the usually absurd mailing.  I must admit that occasionally I actually read those chain letters but the chain stops here regardless.   

That said, my friend sent me a chain question thingy.  I read the first part with one eye closed because it was immediately apparent what I was dealing with in the chain category.   I was to answer a bunch of questions about myself and then solicit 11 others to spread the excitement around.  Okay, so I read the entire thing and after much deliberation I decided to actually answer the questions and post it to my blog as instructed.  However, in staying true to myself I will not be selecting 11 others to follow in my footsteps.  Help yourself if you want to continue this chain on your own.  Here are the rules:

1. Post these rules.
2. You must post 11 random things about yourself.
3. Answer the questions set for you in their post.
4. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
5. Go to their blog and tell them you’ve tagged them.
6. No stuff in the tagging section about you are tagged if you are reading this. You legitimately have to tag 11 people. (or probably bad things start to happen)

***********************************************************

Here goes . . .

11 random things about me:

 

*  I sleep with three pillows - one of which I hold like a big teddy bear.

 

*  I like raking leaves.  Mostly I like the look of my freshly raked dirt yard (not much grass to speak of).

 

*  I have an absolutely ridiculous problem remembering peoples names.  It's embarrassing!

 

*  I have stashes of chocolate in several places.

*  The only thing I know of that I am allergic to is Kiwi.

*  I have not eaten red meat or pork since I was 16 years old (26 yrs ago).  My cousin Dennis convinced me to make the change and I just never went back.

*  I repeated the second grade.

*  I had one sibling.  She was 2 1/2 years older.  She and my mother are in heaven.  I miss them both.

*  I do not like snow, I do not think it is pretty, and I do not need a white Christmas.

*  My new hammock chair makes me happy.

*  I am a cat person (although I do not currently have a cat).

 

Questions My friend wanted to know about me (and 10 more of her friends):

1. What is your favorite team sport and why?

I love playing soccer.  I am seriously not very good (really I know this to be true).  I enjoy competitive activities.  I enjoy exercise and feeling healthy and strong.  I like exercising with  groups of people.

2. Best book you read recently? Why? 

The last book I read (finished it today) was "Sunshine for the Humorous Latter-Day Saint Soul."   I have been reading books in the humor category (almost exclusively) for over a year now.  I need laughter in my life every day!

3. Would you ever eat in bed? Why?

I occasionally eat breakfast in bed.  I actually would prefer to not eat in bed, but my spouse and especially my children like to surprise mommy with a syrupy sticky breakfast in bed as a special treat for mommy.

4. Best thing about your life is...?

The Gospel Of Jesus Christ.

5. Who motivates you to keep your health in check?

My family and myself- I want to be healthy for them and for me.

6. What is your best tip for healthy but cheap eating?

Eat out very sparingly.  Once or twice a month on average.  That includes pizza and Chinese take-out.

7. If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would it be? Why?

I love any place tropical.  There is no one tropical paradise that is calling me.   I have been to Nassau Bahamas so perhaps some other Caribbean islands.

8. What was your first job?

A file clerk in the billing department at a hospital in Geneva, NY.  My mother worked in the same office.

9. Favorite work out song?

Lately I have been running on the treadmill to Michael Jackson.

10. What is your most embarrassing moment? Details, please!

I had surgery when I was about 22 years old.  When I came out of the anesthesia the nurse instructed me that I needed to be sure that I was cleaning my navel.  The doctor later came in to discuss my surgery and recovery and he too instructed me to be sure to clean my navel.  I was not previously aware that innie navels were not self cleaning.  I now regularly clean my navel.

11. How would you describe your sense of humor?

I think I am much funnier than others think that I am.  I have a bit of a sarcastic sense of humor.

For The Year Ahead

I came across the video "I'm Trying To Be Like Jesus" by David Archuleta.  At first I was reluctant to listen, it's a children's song; I know it well; it's simple; I questioned what would he do to change it and I did not want the song altered for a grand stand performance.  I clicked play (if you haven't already, go ahead). It is a beautiful song.  It is simple yet profound in application of meaning.

I have been thinking about the new year and what I would like to accomplish.  I thought about working on being a better mother, spouse, friend, etc.  What it all comes down to for the new year is that I want to be more like Jesus.  I am not talking about becoming a fanatic about my religion but to apply these simple principles, found in the lyrics to this song, to my daily living:

"I'm Trying To Be Like Jesus"
1.  I’m trying to be like Jesus;
I’m following in his ways.
I’m trying to love as he did, in all that I do and say.
At times I am tempted to make a wrong choice,
But I try to listen as the still small voice whispers,

(Chorus)

2.  I’m trying to love my neighbor;
I’m learning to serve my friends.
I watch for the day of gladness when Jesus will come again.
I try to remember the lessons he taught.
Then the Holy Spirit enters into my thoughts, saying:

Chorus
“Love one another as Jesus loves you.
Try to show kindness in all that you do.
Be gentle and loving in deed and in thought,
For these are the things Jesus taught.”

(Words and music: Janice Kapp Perry, b. 1938)

For this year I will try to be more like Jesus and continue to learn to better serve my family, friends,  neighbors and the Lord.  This does not mean I beat myself up for falling short or demand more from others in spite of myself, but to love one another as Jesus loves me.

This past Monday we had a family home evening lesson about "What would Jesus do?".    This week, when my daughters have come to me with a problem with getting along with each other or others I have talked with them and explored the question, "What would Jesus do?".  As a result, I have responded to the situations more gently and with more kindness and the girls have been better able to resolve quarrels.  What a great start to the new year!

Random Thoughts, Theories, and Realizations

Over the past four decades I have learned a few things and I have come to realize a few things that have brought some necessary clarity into my life.  I also have quite a few theories that I am continuing to test for accuracy.  It's time I wrote a few of these things down before I forget and have to relearn this stuff all over again!

* Just like you do not have to buy everything you lay eyes on in the store, you do not have to own every thought you have.

*  If you think you are self-actualized than you have not had any major challenges to overcome lately.

* Carrying, birthing and raising children brings out the best and the worst in us.

* When you get a gift, send a thank you note.  If more time has passed than you would have liked, send it anyway.

*  Be slow to judge others and give people the benefit of the doubt.  Everyone deals with stress and life's difficulties differently and you never know if someone is currently suffering or has yet to overcome a serious pain or loss. 

* Pray.

* Yelling to get your point across is disrespectful to others and to yourself.  Furthermore, once you start it becomes a difficult habit to break.

*  Best housekeeping tip ever:  10 minute room rescues (cleaning up a room) twice a day and one 10 minute house rescue in the evening (total 30 minutes of cleanup).  Don't forget to get everyone who is home involved in the rescue.

This Week in Nature Behind My Lens

(Click photos to enlarge)
In my butterfly garden:

"Butterfly emerges from cocoon"

In St. Augustine, Fl:

"Good Morning Rainbow:"


" Welcome to the beach"

Punishment vs. Discipline

Lately I have been increasingly unhappy with my methods of teaching my children, especially when it comes to discipline and setting a good example while disciplining. My response to (what I determine to be) inappropriate behavior is often emotionally charged and, more frequently than not, rather ineffective.

A friend recently posted a parenting article on Facebook entitled "Punishment -or Discipline". After reading it I felt inspired to make some immediate changes. I found an article from the FHE resource book entitled "A House of Order" which helped me get started.

For Family Home Evening we discussed our own family goals, rules to help us accomplish those goals, and some consequences for poor choices. Here is an example of one of our family goals:

Family Goals

Family Rules

Consequences

We want to be a loving, happy and grateful family.

*Express our love for each other. *Eat meals together. *Have Fun. *Express gratitude. *Serve one another. *No name calling or teasing.

Time Out (by age) followed by hug and "Sorry."

For easy reference, I made a separate sheet with some identified bad choice behaviors and the consequences for such actions. Here are a few examples:

Behavior	Consequence
Name calling or teasing.	Time Out (by age) followed by hug and "Sorry."
Unhealthy snacks without permission	No treats
Not sharing	Toy/thing taken away.
Not Saying "I'm sorry" when appropriate.	Time out and "Sorry"/loss of privileges: 1. Computer 2. TV 3. Movie 4. Early to bed 15min 5. Early to bed 30 min

Each of the girls has a calender with their name on it for easy tracking of privilege losses.

We already have a working system for rewards which includes use of tickets they can exchange for special rewards (going to the park, the museum, watching a TV program, staying up late, etc.,):


I made a poster board for displaying and to use as a reference.

I included some family pictures and pictures of temples to go with our goal:

We want to enjoy the blessings of the temple and be together as a family in eternity.

*Pray together. *Hold Family Home Evening weekly. *Daily scripture study. *Frequent trips to the temple (bi-monthly).

The girls are responding great already and it has been less than 24hrs. I too am feeling a better sense of control over teaching and disciplining because the goals, rules and consequences are already established and agreed upon. I know this is not a fix-all, but I feel that we are definitely on the right track!