Selfishness Vs. Charity

My sister once told me that I was selfish.  I wasn't mad at her but it stung a bit.  I did not want it to be true but I knew it was.  I have often thought on her words over the years since and I have put some effort into being less selfish.  Most recently I have thought about how my own selfish thoughts and actions have contributed to my feelings of frustration and discontent in my roles as wife and mother.

I know that when I put my husband and my children first that I will be much happier and have a more fulfilling life.  This really is the essence of charity.  It is the highest, noblest, and strongest kind of love and the most joyous to the soul (see Moroni 7:45 and 1 Nephi 11:23).  By putting others first it does not mean that I disregard my own needs and interests.  I pursue and will continue to set personal goals and explore personal interests.  However, "the world" encourages us to seek after happiness by putting ourselves first.  I am often tempted to do this whether it be wanting to play on the computer instead of playing with and nurturing my two daughters or becoming frustrated or angry with my husband for simply putting dishes in the sink instead of in the dishwasher.

My roles as wife and mother are the most important roles I will ever have on this earth.  I know this but my thoughts and actions do not always demonstrate this knowledge.  This weekend, Elder Russel M. Nelson spoke in our Stake.  He said that it is okay that we are amateurs at being parents and followed up with the fact that our children are also amateurs at being our children.  I can also expand this to my roles as wife and (LDS) follower of Christ.  I am an amateur in these roles as well.  I am grateful to be a wife and a mother and a follower of Christ and for the process of learning and growing towards my full potential.