Punishment vs. Discipline

Lately I have been increasingly unhappy with my methods of teaching my children, especially when it comes to discipline and setting a good example while disciplining. My response to (what I determine to be) inappropriate behavior is often emotionally charged and, more frequently than not, rather ineffective.

A friend recently posted a parenting article on Facebook entitled "Punishment -or Discipline". After reading it I felt inspired to make some immediate changes. I found an article from the FHE resource book entitled "A House of Order" which helped me get started.

For Family Home Evening we discussed our own family goals, rules to help us accomplish those goals, and some consequences for poor choices. Here is an example of one of our family goals:

Family Goals

Family Rules

Consequences

We want to be a loving, happy and grateful family.

*Express our love for each other. *Eat meals together. *Have Fun. *Express gratitude. *Serve one another. *No name calling or teasing.

Time Out (by age) followed by hug and "Sorry."

For easy reference, I made a separate sheet with some identified bad choice behaviors and the consequences for such actions. Here are a few examples:

Behavior	Consequence
Name calling or teasing.	Time Out (by age) followed by hug and "Sorry."
Unhealthy snacks without permission	No treats
Not sharing	Toy/thing taken away.
Not Saying "I'm sorry" when appropriate.	Time out and "Sorry"/loss of privileges: 1. Computer 2. TV 3. Movie 4. Early to bed 15min 5. Early to bed 30 min

Each of the girls has a calender with their name on it for easy tracking of privilege losses.

We already have a working system for rewards which includes use of tickets they can exchange for special rewards (going to the park, the museum, watching a TV program, staying up late, etc.,):


I made a poster board for displaying and to use as a reference.

I included some family pictures and pictures of temples to go with our goal:

We want to enjoy the blessings of the temple and be together as a family in eternity.

*Pray together. *Hold Family Home Evening weekly. *Daily scripture study. *Frequent trips to the temple (bi-monthly).

The girls are responding great already and it has been less than 24hrs. I too am feeling a better sense of control over teaching and disciplining because the goals, rules and consequences are already established and agreed upon. I know this is not a fix-all, but I feel that we are definitely on the right track!